Vintage Crystal

I wish I updated here more. I guess I just haven't had much to say. I feel really .... stale? Nothing exciting, dramatic, story worthy really happens around here really. I am boring even to myself.

That's all I guess. I'm still here.

I had some weird dreams over the weekend.

Saturday night I dreamed that my friend Manuel was chosen to be the Prince of a race of Aliens that had come to Earth. The aliens were interesting. The were about the size and shape of a thick twin mattress but they were the color and texture of one of those brown prickly welcome mats and they had spikes in them and they kept trying to have sex with humans. Manuel was chosen to be their Prince and he had to go to all of these functions and speaking engagements and never had any time to hang out. I finally had to buy tickets to a speaking event he was giving in a movie theater and I sat in the third row and glared at him because I was pissed off that he was always busy.

My subconscious is a weird place.

My other dream was another cheating Shawn dream. I don't know what's up with these. Am I that insecure? I have no idea.

This time the dream was that we went to a dance (like a prom) and Shawn was sitting between me and some girl and kept leaning over and whispering in her ear. While this was irritating, it wasn't tragic. When I'd had enough I went and got my purse and came back and told him I was ready to leave he said "no" and continued to talk to this girl (who, for the record, in case it matters, was blonde and curvy - not thin, but not fat and kind of tall with a big chest and was wearing a strapless black dress). This PISSED ME OFF. A LOT. So I said "FINE" and stormed out. He didn't even follow me! I was so angry with him.

In the dream I went home and cried and read text messages from Manuel (I guess I dreamed of him two nights in a row sort of). When I woke up I was still pissed off.

Some time the same night I also dreamed of squirrels, and of a girl that cut off the top of her head to let her boyfriend have sex with it. WTF? I have no idea. It wasn't bloody or gruesome, just funny.

Friday night I was driving home form work around 7:30. I was going north on the Glenn Highway about a half mile past the Eklutna overpass and it was extremely dark - just pitch black. It was so dark that even with my brights on I couldn't see anything past my car.

I was in the left of two lanes and there was a car behind me driving way too fast and way to close to me so I decided to get over and let him pass.

I couldn't see a thing. I put on my blinker, checked the right lane to make sure it was clear and started to get over. It seemed to be taking a really long time. I'm pretty sure the road curves there and between the snow and soot on the road and the darkness I couldn't tell when I had passed the center line.

I was squinting and straining to see the road, searching for the center when I finally saw the white line. Only problem was that the white line I saw was not the center marker, but the far right edge of the right lane.

As soon as the "FUCK" left my mouth my car started to slide in the snow at the edge of the road. I was positive I was swerving back into traffic on the busy highway where none of the cars could slow down in time due to the slick conditions.

But no, I was wrong. Instead of being flung back into traffic I was instead flung into the ditch on the side of the road where my car flipped over and landed on it's roof in the snowbank. Luckily the snow was soft, so the impact wasn't as hard as if it had been packed and frozen, but it's soft state did allow it to work it's way into every opening in my car. Mostly through what I thought was the smashed out front window, but what later turned out to be where the windshield had separated from the roof of the car.

So, I was hanging upside down in my seatbelt, forehead against the visor, trying to find the damn horn to let people know I needed help in there. My purse had been sitting on the passenger seat and had been flung God-knows-where and, even if I could find it, it was open so my cell phone was long gone. The floor mats had relocated from the floor to the ceiling and were totally in my way. Luckily the driver's side window had smashed out so I flung one of the stupid mats out the window and stuck one arm out to wave for help.

By this time it had probably only been 2 minutes, if that, since I began changing lanes but it felt like forever, so I decided I needed to get the hell out of this car.

I fumbled around for the door lock and got it unlatched and flung the door open, but I was still strapped in and upside down. I didn't know what would happen when I unbuckled the seatbelt, but I went ahead and released it anyway. Luckily I didn't fall on my head, but I was able to crawl out of the car into the snow.

I got out, looked into my car, which was filled with snow and at least was able to see the handle of my purse and pull it out before some man with a cell phone pulled my away and told me we needed to get away from the car because it looked like it was smoking.

Here I am standing at the side of the highway with snow in my shoes (I was still wearing my open backed clogs that I wore to work) and dirt in my hair, clutching my handbag and shaking like crazy while this stranger is asking me my name and age and if there was anyone else in the car. I think three different people asked me if there was anyone else in the car. (Thank God there wasn't!)

When the police came they set up flares and got me into the back of a police car for warmth and let me call Shawn and my dad to come get me. They called a tow truck (The Happy Hooker) and asked me questions about what happened.

I was eventually allowed to try to get some things out of the car and I was able to find my wallet, ATM, winter boots and a flashlight. Still no cell phone - Dammit.

While I was waiting for Shawn I realized that I had dirt everywhere. There was grit on my face, in my hair , down the back of my neck. Between the grit and the now melting snow I was a mess. There was MUD IN MY PURSE! My freakin' Dooney & Burke handbag that I payed a whole bonus paycheck for had dirt and melted snow in it!

When Shawn finally got there he was pretty freaked out. The car was still upside-down in the snow and apparently I hadn't mentioned that part when I called him.

When the tow truck arrived and flipped my poor little car over we could better see how the roof was caved in and the windshield smashed but not broken completely out. The hood was crumpled and the doors dented in. I'm still not completely sure how I got the driver's side door open to get out.

All in all it wasn't as bad as it could have been. No one was in the car but me, I wasn't hurt at all - not a scratch - and the car can be replaced. The part I'm still maddest about is that I never did find my phone. We even went to the tow yard Saturday and sifted through the snow looking for it, but no luck. It could be on the side of the highway for all I know.

We did find lots of other things in the car packed with snow. The rear view mirror, for instance, was no longer attached to the smashed windshield, but just buried in the snow mound up in the dash. The little switch handle that turns on the wipers was broken off and found in the pile of snow on the driver side floorboard, my lip gloss was in the passenger seat, undamaged. I found some things from the trunk in the backseat, which was weird. And Desi and Lily's toys were all present and accounted for. I did forget to get my CD out of the CD player, but it was one I burned so I guess it's no big loss.

That's about all of it. No ticket to pay, so that's nice. Now we just wait and see if the car really is totaled, which seems to be the general consensus, and figure out what I'm going to do to replace it.

I have pictures and video to post later. Poor little blue car. She didn't deserve this.

(x-posted on myspace)

Well, I'm feeling slightly sick afterward, but I just bought this:



It better last 50 years.

Last week was Desi's Cheerleading competition. She was so cute! They all were. And all the girls did really well. We were proud of them.

Desi's little team got a trophy and a rating of "Excellent", though I think all of the mighty might teams got "excellent" and the only three categories I heard were Excellent, Outstanding, and Superior. So, it's not like any of the teams got "Dismal" or "Underwhelming".

I think the most fun part was the little break they took between the last performance and the awards when all the girls got down on the gym floor and had a little impromptu dance party. The music guy played the Macarena and Mr. C's Cha Cha Slide and about 300 girls all danced together. It was pretty cool.

Okay, well, I'm cutting this short. Lily just threw her pants in the toilet and Desi is crying.

Tara and Me - 1995?
I think Tanya took this picture and I would be willing to bet we were high.




Tara and Me - 1996ish
I just remember it was really hot that day.




Us again, looking like super foxy dragqueens - or, you know, going to a high school dance.

Check out my super awesome, somewhat tacky, but still really cool new boots (30% off!):







Mmmmmm ... *drool* .... new boots. Yummy.

I thought this was pretty interesting. I highlighted the parts that stood out most to me in the description.


My Personality

Neuroticism	54
Extraversion	24
Openness To Experience	60
Agreeableness	1
Conscientiousness	40

<table> You are introverted, reserved, and quiet with a preference for solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends. People generally perceive you as distant and reserved, and you do not usually reach out to others. You tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. You often need privacy and time for yourself. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You enjoy some excitement and risk taking in your life. You are not prone to spells of energetic high spirits.

Stressful and frustrating situations can often be upsetting to you, but you are sometimes able to get over these feelings and cope with these situations. You are generally calm, although some situations can make you feel anxious or tense. You don't usually get angry too easily but some things can annoy you. Mostly your emotions are on an even keel and you do not get depressed easily. You do not feel nervous in social situations, and have a good impression of what others think of you. You feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. High levels of stress can lead to you feeling panic or confusion, but usually you cope with day to day pressures.

A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. You are a moderately imaginative person who enjoys a good balance between the real world and fantasy. You love beauty, both in art and in nature. Sometimes you become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. As a person who is open-minded to new and unusual ideas, you love to play with and think about ideas. You also like to debate intellectual issues and often enjoy riddles, puzzles and brain teasers. Often you exhibit a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. Sometimes you feel a certain degree of hostility toward rules and perhaps even enjoy ambiguity.

People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising and you have less concern with others' needs than with your own. You mostly assume that people are honest and fair, however you are wary and hold back from trusting people completely. There are times when you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary, however you are mostly candid, frank and sincere. People find it moderately easy to relate to you. You do not particularly like helping other people. Requests for help feel like an imposition on your time. You are not adverse to confrontation and will sometimes even intimidate others to get your own way. You feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You are not affected strongly by human suffering, priding yourself on making objective judgments based on reason. You are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy.

You are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled. You are moderately confident that you can achieve the goals you set yourself. In general you tend to be disorganized and scattered. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing. Mostly you work towards achieving your best, although in some areas you are content just to get the job done. You find yourself procrastinating and show poor follow-through on tasks. Often you fail to complete tasks - even tasks that you want very much to complete. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

<table>

Test YourselfCompare YourselfView Full

Oh my freaking God. I found out first hand why everyone hates the dentist with such a passion. I had a root canal this morning! I think there is good reason to believe that all dentists are closet (or not so closet) sadists.

First of all there is the whole inflicting pain on others thing. And just because they do it for profit (and supposedly for good health - whatever) doesn't mean they don't also enjoy it. But that is too easy. The real reason I think they are sadists is because it's not just about the pain. They also do all sorts of other weird torturous things.

Take, for instance, the Dental Damn of Doom. A piece of latex with a clamp attached that completely covers your mouth. Now you can't breath except through your nose, your screams are muffled and you are choking on your own saliva.

And then they turn you upside down in their torture chair, shine a huge bright light in your face and jab a needle in your gums. They say it is Novocaine to numb the pain, but I strongly suspect it is only something like children's Motrin (the fruit punch kind). Tricky bastards.

Then, as if that weren't bad enough, you get to wear the straight jacket - oh, I'm sorry, the X-ray apron - and have weird plastic instruments that gag you prop your mouth open while they jam an X-ray machine right up in your face. (Okay, protect my lungs with the lead vest, but radiate my eye, I see.)

Then the drilling begins. The horrible scrapping, buzzing, swear-to-god it was smoking drilling experience. And the hand filing! How pleasant to have a metal file jammed into my tooth nerves! Fun! It's just like Disney World but without Space Mountain.

And then, to top it all off, after you have escaped the chair and managed to drag your droopy face, complete with mouth full of bloody cotton to the front desk they complete the trauma by announcing that your insurance only covers 60% of the $900 procedure and "how would you like to pay your co-pay today?"

Evil I tell you!

(x-posted on MySpace)

God, I am so moody the past few days. The other day I just hated everyone and couldn't deal with the stupid people at work and today I feel all weepy and ... I don't even know what to call it. Nostalgic? Homesick? I have no idea.

I want to curl up in a ball under the covers and read or sleep or something. I'm not depressed or anything all that dramatic. I'm just really tired and need some warmth and a hug. Maybe more than one. Or sex - that would be good too.

Blah.

Oh and I finally figured out my stupid MySpace I think, so add me if you're over there.

I got to talk to my good friend Tanya yesterday so that was cool. One good thing out of a couple of crappy days.

I have been avoiding my computer.

Not that I don't love my computer, because we all know that I am a geek and can't get enough of this stupid thing, however I'm pretty sure that the act of me sitting down in front of it attracts crying children.

It never fails. I can't read an article or make an icon or edit a photo without a child showing up hungry or wet or needing me to figure out why the Disney channel isn't coming in on the TV. Sometimes one will simply show up to touch stuff. Sticky fingers trying to help me type, accidentally making 50 copies of nothing on the copier or pulling on cords causing big crashing sounds and a yelling mom.

The big one just likes to come in and hover. And while that sounds perfectly innocent and non-annoying, it is incredibly distracting. It's hard to type with a six-year-old hugging your arm and peering over your shoulder. Though that is less obnoxious than the consent commentary she often likes to provide. Just what I need, an inaccurate, sugar-voiced play by play of my leisure time.

And it's always great when she wants to direct as well. "Ooh, mom, click on that!" "Ooh, mom, what's that say?" "Ooh, Mom, make a picture of a princess!" "Ooh, mom, you should write about dogs!"

I love my kids, but computers and children do not mix well for me. So, instead of avoiding my children (which was my first instinct) I have been avoiding the computer.

And before you suggest it, no it doesn't help to wait until they go to bed to get on here because I also have a husband. :)

I think I am completely MySpace illiterate. I've had a stupid account with them for ever and I still haven't figured out how to do anything with it.

For crying out loud, I can build a whole web site, but I can't figure out how to color MySpace!

Anyway, God.

So, I haven't been up to much, as usual. It's been really beautiful weather here lately. Last weekend Desi and I planted flower boxes for the deck while I drank Margaritas (yum) and Shawn is suppose to be checking into how much it will cost to have a lawn put in - right now all me have are rocks and dirt.

I'm really enjoying being a home owner, even though I had to write a check for our home owner's association dues last night - ouch! They have a lot of rules too, which I think we have broken all of! We have a hauling trailer parked next to our house which is a no-no, apparently they are "unsightly". Our dog was running all over the neighborhood until we got her one of those radio fences. (Oh my goodness that thing has worked a miracle! Not only has she stopped chasing motorcycles down the street and trying to hump the dog across the street, but she is even better behaved in the house since we got it. ) Our garbage cans are visible. We have lived here a year and still don't have a lawn. Let's see, what else? Basically we are trashy neighbors, lol!

Now, if we just had some fun friends (who lived close by of course) to invite over to cook out and maybe go camping it would be a perfect summer!

I had a dream that I caught Shawn cheating on me. Some waitress at a bar leaving messages on his cell phone. In the dream, after I confronted him about the waitress I found out that he had been having affairs with lots of different woman for years.

I woke up pretty pissed off. I almost yelled at him when he kissed me goodbye at 6 o'clock this morning. Instead I wished him a happy birthday.

I am not lost, I do not need to be found, I simply need to check in.

Hope all is well will everyone who is left on my friends list. Lots of people I have enjoyed reading have dropped off the planet lately. Sad, but what do I expect from people I only check in with once in a blue moon (if even that often).

Anyhow, a little bit going on around here. Spring is slowly unfurling in Alaska. The snow has melted on the highway median and the sun is sporadically shining. It's been in the 40s temperature wise - time to break out the bikini! Okay, not really, but I haven't been wearing a coat.

And of course, spring means birthday season at our house. Lily turned one yesterday, Shawn will be celebrating next week and Desi is having a Princess themed sleepover in a couple of weekends. I still have to buy presents for two of them and figure out what I'm going to do with 8 six-year-olds on a Saturday night. Ack.

Fun, fun, fun.

Also I am fearing what types of boys Lily will be bringing home as a teenager. With a birthday that falls on April 20th she could be bringing home anyone from stoners, to skinheads to psychos or even boat crewman for all I know.

Hmm, let's see, what else? We got our new couch, I'm making jewelry to hopefully sell and I'm still slaving the days away at the Credit Union. Wish I could stay home and be lazy and update my journal and website like I used to - ah, the good old days!

Hugs!

I'm supposed to be getting my bedroom ready to paint. I need to vacuum, wipe down the windowsills and finish taping around the trim. Instead, I'm flipping through decorating magazines and staring at the computer. I'm so useful.

The girl behind the paint counter at Home Depot today pissed me off. If I pick a color off of your extensive color wall and then tell you that I want that color in eggshell finish in the brand of paint that is on sale do not tell me that I can only get that color in the paint that is 25 dollars a gallon. I'm not retarded, I know that you can mix just about any color for me regardless of the brand I choose. I realize that it's all computerized and when you scan the little barcode the screen tells you exactly which base tone to use and how much of each color pigment to add. But, are you really too goofy to either A) find the corresponding base tone in the on-sale paint or B) tell me or, better yet, help me find a similar color paint chip in the other brand?

Then she tried to sell me tinted primer along with the more expensive paint. Finally, I just said never mind screw it and we went to Fred Meyer and they helped me choose exactly the same colors from the Dutch Boy paint wall and I saved about ten bucks a gallon compared to the Behr at Home Depot.

Orange bastards.

Anyway, the colors for the bedroom are really soft and romantic, even though the scheme looks a little old ladyish. I choose a deep red Merlot color called Pimpernel (as in Scarlet I guess, which is kind of dumb because, as far as I know, scarlet pimpernels are sort of an orange-red color) for the wall behind the bed and a soft rose pink for the rest of the room. I put up a scan of my bed set in a recent post, so that provides the neutral and the accent in deep bronze/chocolate brown and soft sea foam green. We also decided to use that same green for the walls in the master bathroom.

I'm so excited to finally be decorating! We've been here for 8 months now and we're just now picking out curtain rods and paint. Slowly but surely, that's me.

I had the best Valentine's Day!

We hardly ever do much for Valentine's. I usually get peanut M&Ms and a balloon and we have pizza maybe. This year, though, I got spoiled rotten!

First, I was told to dress up because we were going to dinner after work. So, I wore my cute black skirt with lace at the bottom, a new red V-neck sweater, black textured tights, my black peep-toe sling-backs and silver jewelry. Then, while I was at work that morning I got roses delivered to me. It was the 'Moulin Rouge Bouquet' :) Later in the day I got an e-mail from a friend announcing that she is expecting a baby - woo hoo! So that added a nice smile to the day. After work we went to dinner at Evangelo's. Shawn even dressed up in gray slacks, a black shirt with black and silver tie, black leather shoes and his new black wool dress coat. We had a really good meal (steak, steamed veggies, pasta in Alfredo, cheesy garlic bread and tiramisu for dessert) and then I got a present!

My present was in a little white wrapped box with a sparkley bow on top. When I opened the box it had a white leather ring box and inside that was a heart shaped ruby ring! It was so pretty and it looked just like the decoration on my flower vase.



It was all very sweet and nice. I was very surprised and very pleased.

Yesterday it took me three hours to get to work. Apparently there were a bunch of accidents with injuries (freezing rain and all that) and so they just went ahead and closed a section of the highway. From where I live the Parks Hwy turns into the Glenn Hwy and that is the only road into Anchorage, there are no alternate routes that I know of. So, it kind of sucks when they close the highway.

Other than that yesterday was a decent day. Of course, it's being Friday didn't hurt.

Today I had to take my 5 year old to a birthday party. Her little classmate is tuning 6 and she had an ice-skating party. With my love of strangers and other people's children things like that are always great fun for me (please note that the exact opposite of that is actually the truth - in case you didn't pick up on that). But Des had fun and behaved half way decently, so it was good.

I think the baby may have learned a new word. I'm pretty sure she's saying 'hug'. She's so Cro-Magnon with her grunts and half words. 'Gog!' 'MA!' 'Ugh!' 'Da!' And she shouts everything because she's just so excited about it. Also, she's getting another tooth on top, so no more vampire baby - which I'm almost a little sad about because she's so cute with her two top teeth.

Other than all that not much going on. Trying to decorate the house bit by bit. I found another on-line room planner at Jordans.com and a sectional sofa I like from Crate and Barrel who, unlike Target, will ship to Alaska. I just can't decide if I want to go with the nice neutral coffee or basil or something brighter like the indigo or tomato. I know for a fact Shawn would pick the Tomato.




We also got a nice new bedding set the other day. It's sort of a bronze color with really pale blueish-green embroidery and it has a scalloped edge with a corded accent. It's sort of hard to describe, let me scan a picture in.

( Check it out ... )

It came with four throw pillows and four pillow shams. Lots of stuff to throw on the floor at night. Two of the shams are something called 'Euro' shams and I cannot for the life of me figure out what kind of pillows fit in there. And do not tell me 'Euro' pillows because then I will have to kick you.

Okay, time for dinner. More soon, I promise ... Okay, I don't promise but I'll try.

I'm thinking about changing my live journal username. I'm tired of the dumb comments I get about the xxx's in my current one. I wasn't trying to make a statement when I chose xxxsnowangelxxx. I picked it on the spur of the moment because just plain snowangel was already taken.

I've been reading up on the name change process and it seems relatively easy. I pay the $15 and I can choose to keep all of my friends, communities, etc and my username automatically changes on the lists of people that have friended me.

On the other hand, I've had this journal for three years under my current name and it seems a shame to change it now. Plus, I'm not altogether sure of what I would change it to.

Guess I'll have to think about it some more.

I stoled this from tyskkvinna. Also, I've seen a lot of crappy movies.


Here (behind the cut) is a list of 178 movies. SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 70, you have no life. Number the ones you've seen.

( 94 and counting ... )

The other day I found feltup's journal while looking at different people's drawings of Batgirl. I thought it was really original and fun, so I added her. And then, much to my surprise, she added me back. Very cool.

I also noticed that I have been added by this person: nerdgeek who doesn't post or really have a profile but seems to like fat girls in glasses. That sort of freaks me out.

So, I'm still here. I've been busy with work and life and all that. Christmas was good. New Year's was interesting (I went to a strip club for the first time ever - not what I expected at all).

I got a new computer, which I love, but I haven't really used much since I got it. I loaded the Sims 2 and it looks funny, too much detail in the landscape or something, and it won't let me adjust it out of 600x800 screen res. Weird.

The kids are good. Desi gets to go to the 1st grade classroom for reading everyday with another little Kindergarten girl because their teachers felt they needed something more challenging. Lily still isn't talking. She's our little cave girl.

I've been feeling kind of down lately. Maybe just premenstrual, but I hate it. I get all weepy and hateful and everything seems twenty times worse than it really is. I finally snapped out of it on Saturday afternoon. All morning I was cranky and sad and yelling at everyone. I finally forced myself to take a shower and get dressed and then we went into Anchorage and I got my hair cut, had a late lunch at Red Robin and then went to Barnes and Noble and I got the Charlaine Harris Southern Vampire book, Club Dead. Plus, Desi helped me pick out a cute little leopard print handbag.

Ahhh, retail therapy.

Of course I read my whole book already and now I'm hungry to go get the next one. I had planned to buy the remaining three books in the series with my Barnes and Noble gift card, but they only had one. So, I bought a book called A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray from the Young Adults section. Sometimes those books are more interesting than the ones aimed solely at adults. Haven't read it yet, I think I'm going to make it my lunchtime slow-read. Gives me something to do for and hour besides stare at the break room bulletin board.

I think I'm going to go today to Walden's here in town and see if I can't pick up the next vampire book and also Harris's new book Grave Sight. I read the first chapter on the author's website and now, of course, I'm hooked.

Now I'm off to try to catch up on my friends list!